WizIQ, an international online education project, invited me for a conversation with Dr. Nellie Deutsch. I found Dr. Deutsch, based in Toronto, has interviewed luminaries like Pam Allyn (TEDTalks). How could I say no? —So I didn’t.

My favorite part of the recording is the first two minutes when I’m not there. It’s what happens off-screen. That morning, I was so nervous my mouth got dry. I remembered a friend advising me to eat something before I go on. I grabbed the nearest thing, which were some saltine crackers. It took 10 minutes to chew the corner of one. I was supposed to be on, and I’m digging chunks of not-in-the-least-broken-down crackers from the crown of my molars. Those two ungodly minutes.

I’ve pulled some parts from the transcript here. You can also go (here) and click “View Recording” for the entire, delightfully awkward experience. I believe this requires you to sign up, but I’ve heard it does no e-mail spamming harm.

Question of Blogging

The first few years, it was really embarrassing for me. You really have to be vulnerable in terms of, let’s say, my projects aren’t really working out or I have these concerns. At first, I never went back to read my posts. I hated looking at my own blog. To me, it felt horrible, abject, and wretched. More than once, I had the inclination to delete my older posts. But I’ve come to understand that readers like to see where you came from. The journey. I don’t have my best moments on the blog, but people can certainly see all of me.

It’s just one blog. That’s an interesting question because I’ve had an issue with this before. To answer it, I update once a month. I’ve gotten feedback because a month is a long time to wait for a blog post. It’s hard to maintain a readership with that. But I kept it a month because it works for me because I don’t have to sacrifice the quality of my post. Really, that’s my focus. That every single post I put out is meaningful and special and is moving in a way that I’m learning something valuable. And I think people notice that and appreciate it.

Question of Spam

The counterpoint to that, there’s also a lot of comments that come in that go into the spam folder or might be under the category of spam or that are anonymous comments that I really love to respond to. I think one of the things you’ll see is that I’m very responsive to my comments and e-mails. I try to respond within the day if not within the week. I just try to make the comments section a forum. Where people don’t only respond to questions, but they can share their own experiences. 

How to increase Comments

I don’t think it’s necessarily a secret, but it really comes down to what I said before. Just the act of providing a sincere post. Making yourself vulnerable. Somehow, in this really vast world of the Internet, there are countless blogs like you said. Content after content. Even now, there’s this constant struggle to be the next blog, extra innovative, high quality images, the best graphics which are all great things and that I enjoy. But there is value in being candid and allowing yourself to be vulnerable in a way that draws people in. You want them to say, I’ve had a situation like that too and to hear someone say that out loud is not only surprising but it’s refreshing. And when I get e-mails like that, it reassures me that that is the way to go. It’s to allow people to see through you. I’m not trying to put up a character or be extra smart. I’m bluntly speaking about the issues I’m having and people respond to that. People aren’t as blind as you think. People can recognize when you’re truthful. People recognize when they’ve stumbled across something meaningful.

]]> http://angelaejkoh.com/2012/04/13/conversation-with-dr-deutsch-and-ej-koh/feed/ 2 angelaejkoh 3 2 1 http://angelaejkoh.com/2012/03/16/everyday-habits/ http://angelaejkoh.com/2012/03/16/everyday-habits/#comments Fri, 16 Mar 2012 14:53:10 +0000 angelaejkoh http://angelaejkoh.com/?p=1261 ]]> scare tactics hook, cooling patches, wrist support

My nutritionist friend jokes that I can’t take care of myself. But it’s not a joke because it’s true. The little that I do for health is usually on accident, like taking the stairs. But what I’ve learned is that there are absolutely no physical benefits to writing. If you’re a writer, you’re fat and your bent spine makes your pelvis sag (I may just be describing myself here). But I do have tricks. I have this medieval looking hook that’s probably a stolen artifact from the Chosun Dynasty, and I use it to pull out knots in my shoulders. Sometimes, I walk around with it and my tired, bloody nose to scare my roommate to pieces. And because I have a free desk that comes up to my chin, my wrists have become little T-Rex arms. The wrist support was also free.

eucalyptus candles, fake tears

This is the only scent I’ve been on for 7 years. Also, that sounds dumb because the candles clearly say STRESS RELIEF and it may be psychosomatic. But there’s something ritualistic about the heat, mint, and flickering. Not really, if you don’t like heat, mint, and flickering. Also, last week, I almost went to the ER because I scratched my cornea pretty badly. It was dry and I cut it in my sleep. So now, eye drops; eye drops everywhere.

chart thingy

This is embarrassing. One day, I drew up this not-even-straight thermometer and I colored it to mark the progress of my new manuscript. Like in elementary school. I marked the top at 60K words as an estimated end and jot numbers down the side. This is my progress inside 3 1/2 weeks which is many times over my usual pace. I think I owe it to this exercise. It’s been fun to see (with its wonderful lack of color coordination or appeal).  Having the chart makes my work more physical and real to me which I need. I suppose this time around, I just want to have some fun with it.

Every morning, I wake up and sit here. My retainers are still in and I’m mostly starving, but I take a few moments to see where I am in my work. I began storyboarding my novel ideas a few weeks ago to focus on my narrative pacing and visuals. Of course, the standard, writerly outline is right on my laptop. I’m also a post-it note maniac. The post-it’s here have been gifted to me by friends who happily feed extras into my mailbox. One on the backboard says, “Don’t think about what you’re going to work on; think about what you’re working on now.”

At first I was a little embarrassed to show this, but I thought why not share my process. I maintain lists and graphs of all my submissions. I never have a finished piece/poem/excerpt that is not in circulation. These charts keep track of who’s reading what, what needs to be sent where, statuses, and numerous rejections. I started this system when I began thinking of how to narrow the gap between each publication. I wanted to be more prolific and maintain the quality of my work, but smartly. And, oh no, there’s a Hayao Miyazaki poster…

On my desktop, it’s not unusual for me to edit 3-5 poems at a time. From the very little text you see, you’ll notice my fascination with murder whether it’s physical, cultural, social, or psychological. I feel it might be a theme that will help thread my poems together for my thesis and poetry book. It’s an exciting time for me–to be able to say these things. In total, I try to average at about 3,000 words of quality prose a week, 2-4 working poems, and at least 1 finished, polished poem. I’ll usually take my Sunday to update social media counters: mainly Twitter, LinkedIn, WordPress, Google+, Facebook. I would call all this writing and updating, “outside work.” They’re outside of the program’s curriculum and outside of a paying job or internship. It’s like an obsession that I treat very kindly. And sometimes, it reminds me I’m a poet, I’m a writer!

Though it may seem more prevalent in East Asian cultures, there are sure signs of it in every community. It is no longer admirable to be an intelligent or talented individual. Instead, there is a mass interest in the one-in-a-million prodigy. Here, I’ll call it the “genius factor.” This began as a kind of intrigue (on TV or online videos) and turned into a demand. An exceedingly skilled pianist doesn’t have the allure of an equally masterful twelve-year-old. It’s made me think of my age more often than I’d like to admit.

I am, in a sense, conditioned to be impatient. Instead of wanting to take time to learn, I am fastened on being good now. Every year, it compounds. How we never forget the desperation that carries us. Without knowing it, I wanted to not just be a champion writer; I wanted the genius factor that comes with being young at the same time. Looking outside of myself, at the viral speed of Internet interests, I thought that that was the only way someone else could care. And I wouldn’t blame them for it.

~~~

Even I was convinced—what do I have to say ten years later that I could not somehow torture out of myself now, to reach a more vast audience in a receptive culture. After all, what is the writer without her hard-won readers? Still, every year passes so easily and without incident. I am no one-in-a-million nor can I glean the genius factor from my very ordinary soul. I suppose, coming to such an understanding is in itself admirable, if not to anyone else but me.

Michelle Kim, a notable photographer in Orange County, California, approached me with a pitch: she had a full team with makeup artist Robyn Renee, renown model Maddy, stylist Amber, and graphic designer Ruthi Auda. She needed a poet to complete her pièce de 2012: a creative and modern fashion spread.

I shuffled through dusty folders and Michelle pointed out one of my oldest, unpublished works, “Shaman.” It was hastily jot down in the back of a scrapbook in two different handwriting. One was mine and the other was that of my first poet professor and mentor Susan E. Davis. The words were my own, but the pacing and grace could only come from someone like her. I had written the lines on separate pages; she had weaved them together. Somehow, the poem became a fusion of the both of us.  Even when I read it now, I can hear her reading it to me out loud. “It’s your poem,” she said but I always felt it was ours. “Shaman” particularly carries much meaning and I’m thankful that Michelle gave me this opportunity to display it in her fashion spread–so the poem could finally show itself to the world.

Shaman

by Angela EJ Koh

for Susan Davis

 

If you want to take up space,

first see how small you are

like rocks, honeycombs, and charcoal,

 

anchoring, feeding, heating.

In the sky, the clouds get

combed like rabbit fur.

 

If I remember this, I am

learning. You place a flowered

twig behind my ear. It is

 

a mark of my learning

you—of the blue bell. A person

small like me, but higher.

(see full fashion spread below)

Ellipse Productions has worked with the Orange Country Fashion Show, OC Korean Cultural Center, and other communities based in California. I was floored when they approached me about conceptualizing my poem, “Frui.” We sat in Panera and attempted the challenge of turning an 8-lined poem into a short film while making it as emotionally dense and accessible as possible. The adaptation of poetry into film in a cross-media collaboration is still a largely unestablished genre and it was an honor to try and contribute. Finally, I wanted Ellipse to have the reigns to experiment and share their own creative vision as well. Though it’s a first-timer, I hope we can continue to improve and grow from your feedback and support!

Frui

Bret Baldwin Honorable Mention 2009

by Angela EJ Koh

 

My mother always loved the rain.

She loved the sharp edges of the stones washed with it

because she liked things clean.

 

It cleans every alley, she said.

God must like things clean. She was sure of this

 

more than the broken zippers

and the washed take-out boxes she saved in the pantry.

She loved to bleed.

 

I hope she finally found God’s cleaning in it.

Then the presumptuousness struck me. Maybe the tools I had acquired in my skill-box from working for a newspaper and building a portfolio got me to New York, but those same tools won’t get me from New York to my next goal. Now, I need to re-evaluate these tools and cultivate new ones. I have to adapt to my shifting environment, and the ability to reinvent myself is the answer. Like any good RPG game–new level, new rules.

So I’m experiencing some turbulence in my life. But that’s okay. Instead of fighting to stand, I’m going to return to my seat and fasten my belt—wait it out. Meanwhile, what I have in tools of fiction dialogue might shift into a mastery of exposition. My short-lined poetry might become long-lined prose (it has already). Even my interests in multicultural genres have been ambushed while outlining ideas of magical realism. I have to remind myself that I haven’t stopped, or even slowed. I am working on a foundation. I might labor and at times feel there’s nothing this instant to show for it. But the foundation that is never visible from the outside is what holds up an empire.

Questions to ask for 2012:

What are you doing to build a foundation?

How are you planning to reinvent yourself to become more relevant and successful today?

What are the tools you are working with? Do you need to add more to your repertoire or use your old ones in a new fashion?

Are your projects in line with your goals? Slow steps in the right direction are better than fast steps towards the wrong one.

 Thank you for making time to answer a few questions. I will start off the interview and my readers will jump in. The first question: how do you perceive the current market for literary fiction? How about debut novels? What should first-time authors expect when their novels become published?

The current market for literary fiction is broad, I’m happy to report, from high-concept novels like THE NIGHT CIRCUS to more traditional fare like THE ART OF FIELDING and MAINE – readers still want quality of writing, depth of character, a story that engages us! The debut is a tough but exciting category as everyone loves to discover that important new voice. In terms of what to expect on publication, it varies, but the author should certainly expect to be very engaged in the promotional process  – the sooner they can hook into social media and develop relationships with booksellers and other authors the better.

Can you talk about your selection process when passing or taking on manuscripts? What are you looking for exactly in the initial read-through of a manuscript?

I am looking for authority, intensity, a way with words, good eyeballs, a knack for storytelling, a sense of humor, and intelligence.

Your specialties include cookbooks and narrative nonfiction. What’s big right now in those genres? What draws you in and what would you like to read more of?

In cookbooks, there are celebrities, but also Gluten-Free is big, Brooklyn is big, places with great stories and real specialties and sterling reputations. People are looking for expertise and inspiration and good company in the kitchen – or at least that’s what I’m looking for.

@fullmoonsong asks: what are your thoughts on the rise of self-publishing & the disintermediation by the likes of Amazon publishing?

Oh, I’m a fan of editors and traditional houses but we’re all figuring it out. I have lunch with an Amazon editor later this week. I try to keep my head down and look for good stories and authors and ideas. Then, I stick my head up and take note of the sea changes in the industry and then I put my head back down and read and then back up.

@WriterMomm asks: how should an author choose an agent and how does the author know it’s the right fit?

It’s like many decisions – you do the research, you ask the questions, you talk about the work, and then you go with your gut.

@frankjedwards asks: what are you most looking for in a query letter?

Directness, just tell me who you are and what the book is and why you are writing me.

Thanks again for stopping by to share your knowledge and expertise!

Connect with Jenni Ferrari-Adler on her Blog: http://www.aloneinthekitchen.com/  Site: Brick House Literary Agents  Twitter: @jenferrariadler Purchase: ALONE IN THE KITCHEN WITH AN EGGPLANT

After my hour commute from the literary agency, I waved ‘hello’ to the halal cart man who had become an unexpected friend. He gave me some free snack fries. He treated me like a kid. Then I jotted something down that I stared at all night:

I want to always be known as a child. My faults expected. Free to change my mind and make myself the fool.

I looked back at my past posts, terrible. I read the word, “woman,” more often than I was comfortable with. The times I argued I was an adult, I was a child. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have had the fervor nor the interest to make my point. God, I’m losing my interest.

ph. by me

I’m not saying that New York has wrestled it from me. That the city’s trains hold the mourning and unfamiliarity has changed to dislike. But I have lost something. To make up for it, I throw post-its up on my ceiling, fridge, drawers. I remind myself, you’re still a person and even if you have nothing, you have your goals. The shocks of bright paper tell me I know who I am. Yet, on special days when I come up empty and my desires turn to smoke, the bit of child that does remain wonders what she’ll get for giving up– as if all must be fair.

Stay tough, Champ!

Angela: FUCK YOU, PATHETIC FALLACY! I’M ANGELA-MOTHERFUCKIN’-KOH! I’M A WRITER! I’M THE CATALYST THAT TURNS MISERY INTO ART! YOU’RE MAKING ME STRONGER!

I’d like to be that Angela. She seems a lot cooler than me. Thanks, man.