It’s never been easy to watch the friends I’ve built memories with have to leave. Despite the direction they may go and the ways in which I may change, I owe much to their warm presence and lingering voices. For helping to shape the woman I will become. Even by the loud hum inside the plane, I could hear the things we used to raise our glasses to. Could we have known we raised them for the simple sake that we met and that we got to share our lives with one another. Maybe I’ll have to write two research papers wasted again or I’ll find others that turn Ariel’s song into a vulgar rant of sexual frustration. But there is only one of each person in the world and I’m speechless that I found the one of each of them. With all this useless searching, it makes me feel awfully sentimental to say that I’ve found not what I was looking for, but what I needed right next to me.

]]> http://angelaejkoh.com/2009/07/05/a-bittersweet-end-to-a-household-of-friends/feed/ 7 angelaejkoh http://angelaejkoh.com/2008/10/02/mary-and-wine/ http://angelaejkoh.com/2008/10/02/mary-and-wine/#comments Thu, 02 Oct 2008 07:07:00 +0000 angelaejkoh http://angelaejkoh.com/2008/10/02/mary-and-wine ]]> I am so full of thoughts I have no time for revisions only can I allow these hands not mine to hover ontop keys and let flow the rivers and mountains of things I have learned within the past few days. Today there has been a sighting of the Virgin Mary in a pane glass window at the Springfield hospital. The outline so specific I can say there are no accidents to where the wind blows and such how minerals seem to create art.

One glass specialist explains that water seeped between the panes of the double-paned glass and the “minerals reacted and caused some type of acidic reaction that appears to have etched the glass.” -Boston Globe

In immediate reaction I feel fear even as I know as Virgil that Fear is simply an emotion and reaction to the material world. Fear is useless should one believe there is no chance, no accident, to the happenings in our world only God knows and with trust in Him things will unravel through his Divine Will. And so Fear is useless and having given so much thought to such trivial matters lowers our own stature in this world. Humans are too great and advanced a being to regret, hate, and fear we must yearn to be immutable and these extremes do not provide aid. Humans have the power to fall and so justly have the power to rise over fear with his gift of REASON of his rational mind! Lady Philosophy has shown Boethius the beauty in identifying the mutable as mutable, as changing and therefore unimportant. This keyboard will eventually fall apart I cannot whine that I have no more a source to divulge these thoughts. My single understanding that the keys would eventually break allows a beautiful appreciation and sense of wholeness with or without them.

My life so dull I often contemplate what I could have been in the time of raids and guerilla warfare! To train with animals and run like the cheetah as the soft pads beneath my feet harden, my stance wide and ready, my body lean and tan to become the Woman Warrior I know I am. Or why not be at the court of Queen Katherine to be a waiting lady or the French Court where Anne Boleyn had grown into intellectual and dangerous graces. Would I have been one to be a Wideacre heiress and breathe, know my own land as my own body. To drink from my stream and lay in my lush fields of green. I would make wine not like Syrah of Sonoma that is much too sweet with my meat. It is Cabernet Sauvignon by EK because I cannot do AK then that would be Anne Klein and I do not particularly like Angela Koh it is too long and Eun Koh is too short for beautiful cursive so large EK is enough for me. Only Sweet Discipline whispers if I am not happy now I shall not be happy with these other lifestyles I will never be satisfied if not now. And I hate to rebel with full knowledge for it is different should I have no knowledge and to go off with wants and needs, but to know is to have full responsibility and should I submit to this material world I become unlike my true self, the image of God. Chiampi, you affect me in my ways of speech and thought I wonder what great trials have brought you here to Irvine.