It started out as a good day, New York
Sick with unknown dizziness, I waited after my night lecture for the city shuttle. I let the rain wash over me since an umbrella storefront was quite far. I held my books weighing as much as babies. One hour passed. Two hours. Then, I didn’t know. My phone had died in my hand.
So I ran a mile back. My door-face gave no greeting or welcome. I sloshed in and threw the books on the floor—they had torn my arms. I threw my shoes outside—their bottoms couldn’t grip wet cement and had sent me flying. In this manner, I blamed and hated everything. Even my new family and the few friends I had left behind. How could they let me leave—how could they believe my city conquests hadn’t stopped at Seoul, Tokyo, San Francisco.
I grabbed a used saucepan and threw in Shin Ramen noodles, sink water, and an egg. Eggshells boiled up to the rim surface. I didn’t care to pick them out. I crouched in a lamp-less, couch-less room and chewed the shells that dug into my gums. In bed—hardly tears on my sheets, the Harlem lights roved over my cheek. They comforted me until I was near sleep. I thought, at least, I would pretend it had started out as a good day, New York.
Ah, New York, New York
If you would polish you soul
You could hardly ask for better
Like the sharpest blade
It will cut you deeply
Yet it will gift your spirit as well
See how your writing has changed
You write from deeper in your soul
You write from deeper truths of self
You must go through New York’s hell fire
To temper your inner strength & Love
yamabuki
Out of the entries I’ve read from you so far this one has got to be my favorite. It’s very real and honest. Thanks for sharing, Angela. Hang in there! Hwaiting! ^^
Hey Aaron,
I was very close to not posting this. It’s much closer to a rant than the usual hyper-conscious content I throw on here. But you’ve just convinced me to leave it up. I never found myself really satisfied with anything I post (but I’m getting used to that) because as you said, it’s real for the moment and sincere.
Thanks for coming by!
angela
That\’s way more ceelvr than I was expecting. Thanks!
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Tough, isn’t it?
The Big Apple is one tough city.
Maybe perseverance will help. And don’t forget everything you know about good nutrition! Ramin is not good–it will just give you enough energy to be miserable.
Excellent photograph to illustrate your down mood!
I found a book you might want to look at in the public library here in Temecula, CA: “Keys to Drawing” by Bert Dodson. You posted some sketches a while back and I put a cartoon on every page I post–and this book is about the best teaching tool for drawing I have ever seen.
Drawing takes you away from yourself and deeper into yourself, I think, so maybe you would enjoy doing some sketching?
Best wishes to you as you conquer the big city!
Rooting for you!
TW
Thomas,
Thanks for tip! I’ll have to check that book out. I still like to sketch here and there. Got another notebook to fill. I enjoy your cartoons very much — keep them coming!
I’ll keep you updated on how things go here. New York will surprise me, I’m sure.
angela
i love this post as well
Thank you. Glad you dropped by!