A Letter that Begs
Dear ______,
There needs to be a way to shut it off—the madness, the psycho, (all the words for thinking). Sometimes, a lover, a friend can do the job. And when I’m around this person, I remember how to stop thinking. I react naturally to the things around me, like a child. Yes, I even snicker and whine at the smallest things. But what if these juvenile moments are a way to claim my cradle? Don’t dismiss it just yet. In your absence, I have tried to piece together a child in me, one that has been hesitant to surface. I wouldn’t dare say that you’ve robbed me of a sort of innocence. Just that it may have been postponed. I’d have it postponed even further if you asked me to.
But the childhood having been put off, I see frivolous pieces surface now. Almost all at once, I buy baskets only useful for picnics and then go up the stairs two by two. In my weeping, “I want to, I want to because I wanted to, I wanted to for so long.” I wonder if I have made you proud somewhat, that I might have earned a favor. Could you lift this burden from me—and say that I am not “disgracing you,” that I can rest from the madness time to time. It takes a human hand to flip a switch and I might have found such a person who knows how to (tell the latent adult to fuck off). Though you’ve always had the voice of reason…that my relationships “cannot possibly last,” I say now, without thought, maybe it doesn’t matter (as much as you think) whether we persist or not.
Maybe a tad bit confusing at first but the entity addressed need not be a specific object/subject or it can be as well.
You can be a child. I am an infinite child. I hate being called childish though for it is usually considered the opposition for maturity and I believe I am matured enough. (I hope that it true though
)
But to slip to the orgasmic delight of intensity and also stability is quite profound. Thinking is good but we humans tend to overthink at times. And also those arms of creativity need not always persist in logical gig-lamps – the flat and round worlds may go anywhere with us.
The Child fascinates us – despite the realm of purity she/he signifies a reality of unbound imagination be it with God or the shadows of yore and lore and also the ability to not be manipulated by the acts of rough prejudice and hate. I recall that I as a child did not really understand the difference between “like” and “love” for all I enjoyed without the status bar – though I do so now as well mostly but the world of the so-called real forces me to choose as if daring to post-modem myself.
To be brave enough to put this, MASHALLAH, I applaud you. You are good at being an adult.
But there is no need to postpone the child (this word “postpone” has haunted me today I might relate it to something too)
You don’t need to plug off.
After all the digital world is a playground and so is the actual three dimensional including those of the other dimensional standings.
You be the child you desire to be.
That’s some interesting stuff.
Yeah, I hope to write more clearly in the future. I guess that’s why the “comments” section is good, just in case people are confused.
The letter is addressed to “Mother and Father” and is a discussion about a significant other they don’t approve of. Except the letter turned into a deeper exploration of the self and its dimensions (madness and childhood). I don’t seem to dictate the writing as much as it dictates me.
“logical gig-lamps” –cool words
Thanks for your clarification about the recipient of the letter in your comments.
It changes the meaning.
I thought it might be addressed to a very personal friend–but I also like the idea of a letter addressed “to whom it may concern”.
. . .
I appreciate that you are always write ” literature”–and not just easy reading or information.
When writing “dictates you”–as you say–you BECOME the writing–and that is a very good thing, I think, for a writer to be
Looking forward to your next postings.
Thomas Wold!
Always great to hear from you (I’m selfish when it comes to your comments, they have insight and support that I often hear other writers take encouragement from).
I think beyond the post, I can’t have too much to say because the writing should stand on its own. So your idea of the letter being addressed to a “very personal friend” is still valid and intriguing.
Also, I know it’s not great writing, but I hope to offer some level of writing (even if the posts might not be very enlightening). As I learn more about form, structure, and other modes for writing, I want to show my improvement straight on the blog.
Thanks, Thomas
Angela
Woops! In the above comment I meant to say: “I appreciate that you always strive to write “literature”…”
Only you are so careful as to correct the minor detail. I’m not surprised, I can see such qualities in your writing!
Hey Angela,
Just wanted to drop a line, say hi. I’m moving down to LA in about a month. I’m both terrified and completely excited!
Started a blog to chronicle my foolish adventures of quitting my job and dropping out of grad school to go and try and make it as a writer in Hollywood. Hopefully it doesn’t turn out to be a cautionary tale. If it does? Well, hopefully at least it makes for good reading.
-Shaun
Hey Shaun,
Thanks for stopping by. You’re really making the jump here. Best of luck! Your voracity, craft, and humor will surely get you through.
Also, looking forward to reading about your exploits,
Angela