Knew This Would Happen
Just got back from visiting Mom and Dad in Korea. We drove to Busan where an octopus fell onto the snowy gravel in the fish market. Even stopped by Dae-jeon’s pig-blood restaurants with stew on sale for two. I was ready to come home. But my mom does this thing. On the flight back, I found napkins and breath mints in both of my jacket pockets. When I unpacked, there were vitamin bottles tucked between socks. I unwrapped my boots and they were stuffed with ginseng drinks. Like I need to be reminded of our distance as it grows.
In the empty apartment, everything I touch aches with me. The shivering cup or the cold counter. I wake when it’s dark outside–my clock still 15-hours fast from jet lag. It reminds me of the winter night in Seoul. Dad peaks in the snack cabinet and Mom closes it after him. Their life continues. But mine seems at a stand-still (least for the next few days). I can’t seem to get going. I keep waking up when the day’s over. Keep waking up in Korea.
Well don't feel bad Angela – maybe Life is mechanically moving on from them too. You know my parents sometimes let out their frustrations in front of me – My bro will soon leave INSHALLAH and so will I INSHALLAH for higher studies and they feel terribly alone already…and feel they should have had more kids.I know I'll feel lonely too. No Mom will be around to cuddle me and tell me its alright – no Dad to do that either when I go abroad. But Allah Almighty will keep you strong. This is a struggle we all have to face – a lot of people want to go abroad but can't and I guess we should be happy if we get the chance but I know it's not easy.YOU ARE STRONG ANGELA – YOUR EMPTINESS WILL FADE INSHALLAH
you live in the oc- how cold can it get?and enjoy your limbo while it lasts dude. getting old gets faster after college
Ink,Congrats on going abroad, let me know if you need anything. Oo don't worry much about me. The rants go on but I really am doing so well over here. The blog simply serves as a moment-to-moment vent. I understand the process of familial separation. And I also appreciate the emotional and mindful closeness it brings. I'm sure you'll be able to say the same.Angela
Oppah,The coldness refers to the memory of "winter nights" in Korea–my faulty use of literary device…I'm going right back into college as soon as I get out (limbo-fiend).
I think she was just secreting love about your person. You'll revive in a day of two. Meanwhile suck one of those mints
I love the photo too.
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please don't click the links, guys
No matter where YOU are–Korea or California, everything is going on. Everything is ALWAYS happening everywhere.Maybe one key to more perfect understanding is the awareness of the simultaneity of Everything.You too.