It Must Have Felt Heroic
October 22, 2009
Sounds like stretched cables, a ringing tucked in my ear flap.
I’m moved by need, it takes me from this day to the next. Like money, I think, how much I’d like to shower my parents with it and say, I’ll take over from here. Hearing them leave that for this, their wet cheeks pressed to my face. I carry them on my back and sometimes it gets so heavy, my ears start ringing. This amour of affliction and pressure made me feel strong. It must have felt heroic to sacrifice my time, my slow and easy.
But I was nervous. My peers might see how blood-lust sacrifice, an absolute neglect of their person could manifest real potential. Into individual passion and ability they’ll use to pass me up, wasting no time for safety nets or maybe’s. That they’ll find I’m not a smart girl (brother got those genes), but a poor competitor. That I got as far as I did because I lost a sense of self. That no burden outweighs that on my back.
Now, I was thrown a keyboard like a lotto ticket. It seems the world of lotto tickets makes passion and ability fruitless. I could only let my knees buckle and hold. Waiting for something
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Hi Angela Koh… this is a very cool piece, and your prose is always so compelling for me to read. I went back and read it two more times, as I have found reading your work ONCE is never enough. Isn't that always the way with the things in life that give us pleasure? Once is NEVER ENOUGH! The only problem I have with your writing is not really a problem at all. It stems from a selfish need I have recently uncovered in myself…being as I am from the same ilk as you. Problem: I wish your posts would come more often to satiate my desire for the haunting, bouncing rhetoric that is the signature of your stimulating phraseology.
Hey Tom,I apologize. You've mentioned this before, my infrequency of posting. I'll try my best to attend to this issue. I hope you continue to stop by, cheers.
Thoughtful piece, Angela. It's probably a universal human truth that we feel the need for burden, for affliction, to somehow move us forward while at the same time buckling under its weight.
very much love your "photo art" and very much love your "heroic" piece… i concur, post more please.
The title line is a masterpiece all by itself. The self doubt can be so comfortable, sometimes I wear it like my favorite sweats. Beautiful writing as always.
As Usual. I wish I could be like you. Beautiful, special and multi-talented.The Photo is lovely. I am inspired to try something like that.As usual the prose is beautiful.
Laptops and notebooks are the lottery tickets that blanket the mind.The really creative words flow from natural sight , memory , or a single phrase hand – written – on a wrinkled paper bag.The laptop is a device to help organize the thoughts. Nothing can displace the loneliness of your own creation.
Excellent piece of writing, l quite agree with your submission. I will subscribe to your rss to keep up.